Who am I? What am I doing here?

Who am I?

Normally I’d answer this question with a name. But that’s unoriginal. And it’s not the purpose of this wall of text. So, what else?

I am Mexican, born and raised. I picked up bits and pieces of English from an early age, but I did not turn fully bilingual until I was twentysomething. You probably can’t tell from my writing that I am not a native speaker, and even those that hear me talk have a hard time identifying my accent. I’ve been mistaken for Australian and South African, among other things. I kid you not. I find that flattering.

I am a gaming veteran with nearly two decades experience across several platforms. Console, all three major brands and a brief Sega tour; PC, MMO, FPS, RPG, you name it. You name a major or classic title and I’ve most likely given it a go even if only in passing. Gaming is my life, and, without much exaggeration, it is my sanity.

Over the last few years I have been shifting away from consoles and towards MMOs. It’s not that I dislike consoles, to the contrary. I miss it. I miss the no patch, no bugfix, no trolls, feeling. It was life, though. Let’s face it, MMOs are more cost effective. Pay a few bucks a month (or sometimes none) and you get new, shiny content every so often between expacs. Your machine takes a bit longer to be obsolete, too. And you can use it for more than just gaming, like, say, throwing words at unsuspecting victims, like i am doing to you right now. MMOs have been a trip, but that’s something I’ll elaborate on some other time. Can’t burn all my ideas in a single day, that’s unproductive.

I am forever cabron. Cabron means both asshat and badass. I am an asshat cause what I say tends to be offputting. Which is why I speak little. Takes a while to get me talkative.  And I am badass cause… cause I say so. I am more an asshat than anything though.

I am a hopeless soliloquist. In fact, much of what i write will read like I’m talking to myself. Which in a way, I am. It’s fun to entertain the masses, I like making people laugh. But  that takes practice. Sides, right now I don’t have an audience to please. Those who happen to take a peek will do so out or kindness or curiosity, not seeking entertainment.

I am an avid reader. I was the reading star in my kindergarten, I kid you not. Word is the principal there saved me for last on reading sessions cause I was a treat. I went on from there to devour any printed letter that crossed my path, from posters on lampposts to the good classics of yesterday and today. I read most of them in Spanish, but I grab the English versions when I can. No matter how good, a translation will never do justice to the original. The only book that I had to put aside a few pages in though, is Moby Dick. Nothing against mister Melville, I know full well how great a writer he is. I just wasn’t up to the task. I’ll get that white whale back, though. Just you wait.

Comics? Why yes, I read comics. I started with Disney. Then I had a taste of Superman, Batman, X-Men, some Witchblade. Nowadays I follow about twentysomething webcomics of varied themes and tastes. Some update every blue moon but hey, it’s free entertainment.

I am a writer. Someone very dear to me said once that writer is not a thing you become. it is a thing you either are, or aren’t. I agree. I wrote my first piece at the tender age of 7. Then I went on a dry spell for the following… two decades or so, unless you count forum RP as writing. Then it becomes a 15 year dry spell. It’s no fun, let me tell you.

I am an RP junkie with just about eight years of experience between forums, MMOs, IMs and even a bit of Facebook.. I’ll write more about this one too some other time, but right now I’ll say RP has given me both the shiniest and the nastiest experiences of my social life. The things I have seen and heard, the tales I could tell. I might have a flashlight handy for this one.

The funny thing though is that for all this experience, I have only had one tabletop session. It was a  Shadowrun one, and, let me tell you, it was so awkward it took away every desire I could have to try again. I guess there are better groups out there, but I have yet to find one. And begin by working up the courage to hop back onto that saddle.

I am in a period of transition. It’s been one hell of a ride and honestly, I don’t even know when it will go back to smooth sailing, or when / how I will get to where I want to be. I’m all but grasping the handlebars with white knuckles and hoping for the best. I’ll tell you more someday, maybe. Which kinda segues me into the next point.

What am I doing here?

Just trying to find an outlet, really. For quite a while I have been feeling stagnant, and it has begun to seriously mess up with my mental equilibrium. That feeling that you are getting nowhere, that no matter how hard you try you are stuck right where you have been for decades? I have it. Now, this impression is not exactly true. I am heading towards my own heaven on earth, But while I walk that road, I am languishing for lack of appropriate outlets to let my mind loose. This is an attempt to get that energy flowing lest it turns toxic. Makes sense? I hope so.

My goal with this blog is to churn out one post a week. I’d like to make more, maybe one daily, but I fear I will run out of ideas too soon if I do so. Doing it weekly means I should have material for a month of two, and hopefully by then I will have more to talk about.. Current news, media faux-pas, games, RP, you name it. Even some controversial topics. This is my sandbox, and you’re welcome to watch while I build a castle or two.

Something that I plan to be very adamant about though, is the word count. One thousand or more, never less. I want to go pro someday, you know? I want to write stories, novels, the good long stuff. I gotta start by getting used to cranking out a wall of text every sitting.

To that end, I ask for help. I am good at building up on a given idea, but I am lacking ideas. So I’m asking for donations. Give me an idea for a story. Anything. No matter how wacky or lame you think it is. I’ll take it and go about creating a story around it. But that’s why I’m asking for a donation. Means you let me keep the idea and you won’t come hunting me down for tributes once I got a story done.

1227 words, good stuff. See you next time.


8 Responses to “Who am I? What am I doing here?”

  1. I was hoping for more asshat. J/K. I’m proud of you. This is a big step in your blooming writing career. I’ve followed you and I’m sending people to look!

  2. Oh I adore you! Can not wait to read more of your asshattery soon.

  3. I can not wait to read more blogs.

    ❤ Kino

  4. […] (with a margin of error of 59 seconds) since Hike and Forage took off with the primordial question Who am I?. And, truly, what a long, strange trip it’s […]

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