The Smoking Whore’s Dope Novel

BEFORE YOU LEAVE: Scroll down for an important announcement related to the topic of this post!

Weed, pot, dope, however you call it, has been in the center of controversy for years now. In the US, marijuana legalization has been gaining momentum, with some states (or even cities) getting on board of this train sooner than others. Some people are in favor, some are against, and untold others simply have no idea what to think.

In this conundrum, the problem (at least for me) is not lack of information; the problem is the source. People will say anything to advance a cause, or to get likes, attention, or simply because… I don’t know, why are there still people who answer your question with”press Alt+F4″? (do NOT try that right now. Google it if you want to know what that is for.) Point is, it’s pretty hard to find comprehensive (and reliable) information, especially for me.

As it turns out, a bona fide source on the topic of marijuana was (metaphorically speaking) right under my nose.

I have been acquainted with That Smoking Whore from HighGarden for a few years now, and I have seen enough of her self expression (mostly through social media; what else do you need in this day and age?) to be well reassured, and then some, in terms of her intelligence. When she posted her Fucking Novel, my first interest was finding out what sort of credentials she had. Was she simply a user? An interested party? Or someone with more experience? As it turned out, she is as pro as they come:

I work in the cannabis industry in the legal state of Michigan. In a city that has been cannabis-friendly since 1973. I predominantly teach about cannabis, but my M-F finds me sitting with advanced stage cancer patients and families with epileptic children.

-That Smoking Whore from Highgarden, “Cannabis Industry Worker Types a Fucking Novel

Epileptic children, you read that right. Did you know about Charlotte Figi? About Cyndimae Meehan, the girl that had to move to another state just so she could get the treatment she needed? You don’t hear a lot about it, probably, and that’s what this whole thing is about: combating misinformation.

The Fucking Novel is lengthy, yes (that’s why it is called a novel, even though it lacks storytelling value); but it has to be, if it is going to give you a decent starting look on marijuana. For example, have you even heard of the Human Endocannabinoid System? I know I hadn’t, and yet this is a pretty important piece of information to understand how cannabis works. While there isn’t as of yet a full map of this system, it is already well known that certain chemicals in cannabis will affect you in different ways, and that each strain has different levels of each chemical. Some strains will suppress your appetite, some will increase it, some will soothe your anxiety (and some will exacerbate it!). In essence, you oughtta know what strain is good for you, in what dose, and how you consume it, whether ingested or smoked (which is why you don’t go taking pot willy-nilly; you rely on a budtender!). But don’t take my word for it, go read for yourself (all sources graciously provided by the Smoking Whore).



Once you know more or less how marijuana interacts with your brain, it’s a good time to learn about strains. As discussed above, each strain has different concentrations of the known cannabinoids, and it is important to find what individual plant (between strains and hybrids) will do the trick for you. By now, it is obvious that you need a budtender who knows what they are doing, and who cares about they are doing. You want to be sure you are in good hands? Here’s a few questions you can ask.

– Does your dispensary test each product each batch?
If so where can I see these results?
– Are your staff members familiar with _______ <disease name
– Will there be time to give me a private consultation, as I am a first-time user and I will be asking a lot of questions
(Sometimes I get new patients in the middle of a huge rush, And I will take my time explaining everything, which sometimes upsets the other patients who have to wait. Please Please call ahead.)

That Smoking Whore from Highgarden, “Cannabis Industry Worker Types a Fucking Novel

Want to read more? Hopefully! Because you can still learn more about cannabinoids’ effects in the body (there’s a nifty table there!), and about terpenes (“the fragrance of cannabis, the taste when ingested. They are also part of the reason each type of cannabis has a different effect.”) And also, about the risk of an overdose and how to minimize it. It is worth noting that overdosing on organic marijuana will not kill you, it will only be quite uncomfortable. What can kill you is the synthetic variety, so watch out! In case of an overdose (on you, a friend or even a pet) be sure to follow the Smoking Whore’s instructions.



As if all this education (with a dash of snark) wasn’t enough, the Whore returned (today) with a new article… for baking! That’s right, now you can make your own edible marijuana. Now you can treat the munchies… with dope!

In conclusion: this is not about convincing you to smoke pot. The goal here is education, to hear all angles of the debate from solid sources instead of paying attention just to the bad. In the Novel, you have plenty of resources and links (which you can be assured are well researched and carefully picked). Make use of them. Educate yourself. And remember: sharing is caring.




If you are thankful for the Whore‘s efforts to enlighten the masses, TODAY (April 21, 2016) is a good way to show her. Go to this survey (today is the last day!) and support her with your vote (I did too!). Desired categories are:

  • Best Male Budtender (Zach from Bloom)
  • Best Female Budtender (Rebecca From Bloom – AKA the Whore!)
  • Best Store Atmosphere (Bloom)
  • Best Medicine Selection (Bloom)
  • Best Overall Dispensary (Bloom)
  • Entrepreneur of the Year (Dori Edwards)
    As well as Huron Valley Law for Best Law Firm!

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